Syntactically Correct » Funny http://gnobal.net Amit Schreiber's Blog Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:32:58 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Trying Google’s Voice Search http://gnobal.net/2548/trying-googles-voice-search http://gnobal.net/2548/trying-googles-voice-search#comments Fri, 01 Jul 2011 09:58:38 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2548 Here’s what I got trying to say “Amit Schreiber” into Google’s Voice Search using my netbook and Google Chrome:

  1. sperm tribe
  2. sure I burn
  3. ami schreiber what the f***
  4. chile
  5. I’m yours driver
  6. tommy shaw rugs
  7. how many shriver
  8. short
  9. send me to a boot
  10. striper

Oh, well… I guess it goes through a relevance engine and I’m just not that famous enough. Yet! :)

]]> http://gnobal.net/2548/trying-googles-voice-search/feed 2 Forgotten Experiences http://gnobal.net/2545/forgotten-experiences http://gnobal.net/2545/forgotten-experiences#comments Fri, 27 May 2011 06:14:20 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2545 Yesterday I called a friend of mine who is visiting from the US and is staying at her parents’ place. My mind struggled for 2 seconds before I remembered how to say “may I speak with…” It’s been years since I’ve uttered this request.

And today my father called to tell me about an interesting article he saw and thought I would like to read. I immediately said “email me the link” and he replied “I’m reading it on the hard copy.” Again… took me a few seconds to realize what he was referring to.

]]> http://gnobal.net/2545/forgotten-experiences/feed 4 Google Probably Knows Everything About Me… http://gnobal.net/2541/google-probably-knows-everything-about-me http://gnobal.net/2541/google-probably-knows-everything-about-me#comments Wed, 25 May 2011 04:30:51 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2541 … but then why do I get Venus women’s razor ads on YouTube?

Maybe it’s a “knowing the future” kind of thing.

EDIT: OK, this is not funny. Now I got an Always pads ad. What the hell, Google?

]]> http://gnobal.net/2541/google-probably-knows-everything-about-me/feed 3 Programmers Who Care About The Environment… http://gnobal.net/2529/programmers-who-care-about-the-environment http://gnobal.net/2529/programmers-who-care-about-the-environment#comments Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:12:13 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2529 … don’t use interpreted languages.

You know… because of the extra CPU cycles.

I had to get it out.

Sorry.

]]> http://gnobal.net/2529/programmers-who-care-about-the-environment/feed 3 You Know You’ve Been Using Your Smartphone For A While When… http://gnobal.net/2421/you-know-youve-been-using-your-smartphone-for-a-while-when http://gnobal.net/2421/you-know-youve-been-using-your-smartphone-for-a-while-when#comments Tue, 14 Dec 2010 06:39:44 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2421 …. it takes you a second to realize you have to physically press down a resistive touchscreen to get a response.

(either that or I’m just getting old)

]]> http://gnobal.net/2421/you-know-youve-been-using-your-smartphone-for-a-while-when/feed 2 אסוס של בעברית התקנה http://gnobal.net/2313/%d7%90%d7%a1%d7%95%d7%a1-%d7%a9%d7%9c-%d7%91%d7%a2%d7%91%d7%a8%d7%99%d7%aa-%d7%94%d7%aa%d7%a7%d7%a0%d7%94 http://gnobal.net/2313/%d7%90%d7%a1%d7%95%d7%a1-%d7%a9%d7%9c-%d7%91%d7%a2%d7%91%d7%a8%d7%99%d7%aa-%d7%94%d7%aa%d7%a7%d7%a0%d7%94#comments Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:53:52 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2313

אני בטוח שהם השתמשו במכונה תרגום.

אסוס התקנה בעברית של 1

אסוס התקנה בעברית של 2

מי שעוד הפתיעו הם מיקרוסופט שקראו ל- Sleep שינה ול- Hibernation מצב שינה. לך תסביר למישהו שלא מכיר את ההבדלים בין השניים. אני חושב שאיך שתרגמו מישהו הלך וכתב את ההסבר הזה.

]]> http://gnobal.net/2313/%d7%90%d7%a1%d7%95%d7%a1-%d7%a9%d7%9c-%d7%91%d7%a2%d7%91%d7%a8%d7%99%d7%aa-%d7%94%d7%aa%d7%a7%d7%a0%d7%94/feed 2 FSI Factory In Athens http://gnobal.net/2202/fsi-factory-in-athens http://gnobal.net/2202/fsi-factory-in-athens#comments Thu, 16 Sep 2010 19:34:20 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=2202 I was tempted to spray paint “::GetInstance()” on the signs for this Athens night club called “FSI Factory” :)

(this a private joke for my coworkers. The other 3 readers of the blog should ignore this post)

FSI Factory street sign

FSI Factory

]]> http://gnobal.net/2202/fsi-factory-in-athens/feed 2 Poor Tux Has Fever http://gnobal.net/1795/poor-tux-has-fever http://gnobal.net/1795/poor-tux-has-fever#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:17:53 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=1795 Luckily, we have fever pads :)

(Taken in an Israeli Super Pharm store. Click the image to see a larger version)

]]> http://gnobal.net/1795/poor-tux-has-fever/feed 4 Girl Naming Convention http://gnobal.net/1596/girl-naming-convention http://gnobal.net/1596/girl-naming-convention#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:53:18 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=1596 Following yesterday’s post I had an online chat with a friend about the way I decided to name girls and respective episodes with them on the blog (e.g. G1E2) . It turned out to be quite an amusing discussion so I decided to share it…

Him: hi
Him: sup
Me: OK. How are you?
Him: all is well…
Him: what’s new?
Me: Girl 2 and I split up yesterday so I’m not in a very good mood
Him: yes I see on your blog
Him: well, hope next one is better :-)
Me: :-) Thanks
Him: could be G3FE
Me: :-)
Me: A friend of mine at work said I should prepare for the future and use the naming convention G01E01… I asked him how many girls he thinks I’m going to write about/have
Him: write and have might be different questions
Him: At least don’t add another digit to the E…
Me: I don’t expect more than 9 either way :-)
Him: you never know….
Him: but maybe the G could change if it is a one night thing
Me: I doubt I’ll be writing about one night stands, if there are going to be any of those
Him: F06E5
Me: I thought more in the lines of W
Him: instead of girl-friend, fuck-friend, but w can work too
Me: (but I guess that’s reserved for Wife, not Whore)
Him: ohh, right :-)
Him: S for slut could work
Me: Right :-)
Him: Just don’t use B…
Me: I need to post this conversation on my blog
Me: B?
Me: Bitch?
Him: boy-friend
Me: Oh… no worries
Him: not worried, but people may wonder if it is a bitch or boy….
Me: I think I’ll anonymize this conversation and post it on the blog
Him: (I think other following girls will dump you right away if they see you tag them by numbers…)
Me: :-) I doubt it. It’s just a way to not name names
Him: yes, let me know when you find a girl with an analytic mind
Me: That would be the GA version :-)
Me: oh, and I can also extend to hexadecimal, so that gives me plenty of room
Him: right… I warned you
Me: OK… back to work. Thanks for the chat
Him: ok, c u later

]]> http://gnobal.net/1596/girl-naming-convention/feed 10 The Israeli Movie Naming Gods Screwed Me http://gnobal.net/1517/the-israeli-movie-naming-gods-screwed-me http://gnobal.net/1517/the-israeli-movie-naming-gods-screwed-me#comments Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:02:35 +0000 Amit http://gnobal.net/?p=1517 Yesterday a friend invited me to see a movie after work. The movie’s name in Israel is “The Prophecy.” As we’re waiting for the movie to start he asks me “so when was the last time you went to the movies?” I said it was on the trip, where I saw “Watchmen” and another movie I forgot. When the first frame of the movie showed on screen I said to him “I remember which movie it was. This one.”

Turns out the movie naming gods in Israel decided to translate “Knowing”, which I saw on day 78 of the trip, to “The Prophecy.” And on top of that it’s a mystery movie. So you can imagine my surprise when the kid says “I see dead people” the second time around.

Just kidding. The kid dies about half way through the movie.

]]> http://gnobal.net/1517/the-israeli-movie-naming-gods-screwed-me/feed 0