Funny – Syntactically Correct /old-blog/ Amit Schreiber's Blog | הבלוג של עמית שרייבר Mon, 18 Mar 2019 13:56:49 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 Trying Google’s Voice Search /old-blog/2548 /old-blog/2548#comments Fri, 01 Jul 2011 09:58:38 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2548 Continue reading "Trying Google’s Voice Search"

]]> Here’s what I got trying to say “Amit Schreiber” into Google’s Voice Search using my netbook and Google Chrome:

  1. sperm tribe
  2. sure I burn
  3. ami schreiber what the f***
  4. chile
  5. I’m yours driver
  6. tommy shaw rugs
  7. how many shriver
  8. short
  9. send me to a boot
  10. striper

Oh, well… I guess it goes through a relevance engine and I’m just not that famous enough. Yet! :)

]]> /old-blog/2548/feed 4 Forgotten Experiences /old-blog/2545 /old-blog/2545#comments Fri, 27 May 2011 06:14:20 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2545 Continue reading "Forgotten Experiences"

]]> Yesterday I called a friend of mine who is visiting from the US and is staying at her parents’ place. My mind struggled for 2 seconds before I remembered how to say “may I speak with…” It’s been years since I’ve uttered this request.

And today my father called to tell me about an interesting article he saw and thought I would like to read. I immediately said “email me the link” and he replied “I’m reading it on the hard copy.” Again… took me a few seconds to realize what he was referring to.

]]> /old-blog/2545/feed 4 Google Probably Knows Everything About Me… /old-blog/2541 /old-blog/2541#comments Wed, 25 May 2011 04:30:51 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2541 … but then why do I get Venus women’s razor ads on YouTube?

Maybe it’s a “knowing the future” kind of thing.

EDIT: OK, this is not funny. Now I got an Always pads ad. What the hell, Google?

]]> /old-blog/2541/feed 3 Programmers Who Care About The Environment… /old-blog/2529 /old-blog/2529#comments Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:12:13 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2529 … don’t use interpreted languages.

You know… because of the extra CPU cycles.

I had to get it out.

Sorry.

]]> /old-blog/2529/feed 3 You Know You’ve Been Using Your Smartphone For A While When… /old-blog/2421 /old-blog/2421#comments Tue, 14 Dec 2010 06:39:44 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2421 …. it takes you a second to realize you have to physically press down a resistive touchscreen to get a response.

(either that or I’m just getting old)

]]> /old-blog/2421/feed 2 אסוס של בעברית התקנה /old-blog/2313 /old-blog/2313#comments Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:53:52 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2313

אני בטוח שהם השתמשו במכונה תרגום.

אסוס התקנה בעברית של 1

אסוס התקנה בעברית של 2

מי שעוד הפתיעו הם מיקרוסופט שקראו ל- Sleep שינה ול- Hibernation מצב שינה. לך תסביר למישהו שלא מכיר את ההבדלים בין השניים. אני חושב שאיך שתרגמו מישהו הלך וכתב את ההסבר הזה.

]]> /old-blog/2313/feed 2 FSI Factory In Athens /old-blog/2202 /old-blog/2202#comments Thu, 16 Sep 2010 19:34:20 +0000 /old-blog/?p=2202 I was tempted to spray paint “::GetInstance()” on the signs for this Athens night club called “FSI Factory” :)

(this a private joke for my coworkers. The other 3 readers of the blog should ignore this post)

FSI Factory street sign

FSI Factory

]]> /old-blog/2202/feed 2 Poor Tux Has Fever /old-blog/1795 /old-blog/1795#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:17:53 +0000 /old-blog/?p=1795 Luckily, we have fever pads :)

(Taken in an Israeli Super Pharm store. Click the image to see a larger version)

]]> /old-blog/1795/feed 4 The Israeli Movie Naming Gods Screwed Me /old-blog/1517 Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:02:35 +0000 /old-blog/?p=1517 Continue reading "The Israeli Movie Naming Gods Screwed Me"

]]> Yesterday a friend invited me to see a movie after work. The movie’s name in Israel is “The Prophecy.” As we’re waiting for the movie to start he asks me “so when was the last time you went to the movies?” I said it was on the trip, where I saw “Watchmen” and another movie I forgot. When the first frame of the movie showed on screen I said to him “I remember which movie it was. This one.”

Turns out the movie naming gods in Israel decided to translate “Knowing”, which I saw on day 78 of the trip, to “The Prophecy.” And on top of that it’s a mystery movie. So you can imagine my surprise when the kid says “I see dead people” the second time around.

Just kidding. The kid dies about half way through the movie.

]]> My Oldest Email Messages /old-blog/1434 /old-blog/1434#comments Tue, 12 May 2009 04:59:40 +0000 /old-blog/?p=1434 Continue reading "My Oldest Email Messages"

]]>
  • ISP (from my local mail archive at home):
    • Date: February 1, 1998
    • Subject: a Vocaltec Internet Phone license I got as a gift from my now-deceased Canadian relative. Using this software we had a lot of enjoyable video conversations over the Internet. I also found a lot of stories he sent me over time.
  • Hotmail:
    • Date: March 16, 1999
    • Subject: registration confirmation from Serials 99. I believe I can still use it :)
  • Yahoo!:
    • Date: October 2, 2003
    • Subject: a message from an old acquaintance who found me online. This is from the short period of time in my life when I tried to switch from Hotmail to Yahoo! Mail. Once I got a Gmail account, I ditched Yahoo! Mail for it.
  • Gmail:
    • Date: August 11, 2004
    • Subject: “welcome to Gmail” message explaining how Gmail is different

    • I’m an Internet dinosaur.

    ]]>     /old-blog/1434/feed 2